There were years that I wore caps like this one to hide my eyes. I was in so much pain inside that I didn’t want anyone to see. If I wore a cap, I could hide my eyes, hide my pain, and pretend everything was fine.
I was not fine in this picture. I was slender from running marathons, I was beautiful, and men wanted me.
And I was not fine. I believed I was broken and needed attention from a man to feel like I was worthwhile.
I did everything I could to get that attention. To be sexy and desirable. To be fun and outrageous. To provoke and manipulate.
I got a lot of attention as a result, and I did a lot of things against my own integrity which spiraled me deeper into self loathing.
I tried to run the pain away with marathons and worked out hours a day with P90x.
I finished bottles of wine by myself.
I locked myself away in my home office and wept.
The greatest gift I ever gave myself was the courage to look myself in the mirror with my hand over my heart and say to myself…
“There is worth here.”
That one courageous act in the middle of tons of evidence to the contrary is why I am here today and my kids still have a mom.
Not just “a” mom. A fucking incredible mom who has their back through all the shitstorm life serves up.
I do the work I do today for this woman with the cap. I do this work because her kids deserve to see her shine.
I’ve created a Sacred Gathering for mothers where they can learn to heal their deep wounds so their kids don’t have to be hurt by them. Where mothers can replenish reserves to go back into the fray and connect lovingly and creatively with their kids.
For the woman in the cap, the mother who is hiding her pain:
Be courageous and say Yes to this invitation.
I promise I will never judge you. I know how much that hurts.
Are you ready to claim your brilliance?
Sign up here: https://kerrihummingbird.com/earthmamas
Blessings
