For many of us, the holidays can be a challenging time of year as we take a pause from our hectic lives, reconnect with our families, and come face-to-face with certain realities in our relationships. Statistics show that most couples file for divorce in early January, right after the holidays, and finalize sometime in March; followed by a close second of August divorces (The Atlantic, Why Divorce Spikes in August and March). What these statistics show is that many people are facing huge life transitions every year around the holidays, and feeling vulnerable, exposed and alone.
If this is you, or if you are spending yet another year as a single person, I’d like to share with you some in-the-trenches tools I used to get myself through this very difficult experience and into feeling love no matter what. You see, six years ago I ended my twenty-year relationship because after decades of psychotherapy sessions and trying to work it out, it was a disaster. I was a disaster. I was at the lowest point of my life and feeling incredibly desperate for love…from anyone. (My memoir, Awakening To Me, tells the whole sordid story in case you’re into fact-checking!)
Now, just six years later, I’m remarried to the love of my life. He reflects to me the most powerful love I have ever experienced: a love that encourages spiritual growth while embracing interdependence. I am free to be me, exactly as I am, and he loves it all…even the parts I don’t appreciate fully about myself. I started seeing him in my dreams just a year before we met. I heard his voice, I saw his face, I just had no idea where he was (until the Universe knew I was ready and sent him to me totally by surprise). Trust me, this is a miracle. I often feel I am living in a dream world. And I know this miracle is repeatable, because I’ve shared these tips with others and it has helped them claim the drivers’ seats in their Love-mobiles.
Before I reveal to you my secret formula, let me first say: I get how discouraging it can be to hear about other people’s happiness when you’re feeling alone, betrayed, and awkward. If that’s where you are, I fully encourage you to tuck this article away someplace safe for when you’re ready to embrace hope. Be where you are. I’ll be waiting for you when you’re ready to move forward.
Republished from My Authentic Life Magazine