Alcohol was a really good friend for me to cope with my darkness.
- It helped me break free from my cage of seriousness.
- It helped me feel my feelings that I stuffed way down inside.
- It helped me feel like I was having fun after a day of facing the responsibilities (what felt like burdens) of my life.
I found so much relief with my friend alcohol that I pushed the limits of keeping the party going. Until I hit the wall. And I realized I needed some new friends to help me face all the things that alcohol helped me avoid.
The first picture is me with my friend alcohol on my 40th birthday, just two years before the spiritual 2×4 burned down the life I had built that was drowning me, and whacked me onto my healing path.
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Now my Mesa is my best friend.
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My Mesa is a tactile representation of me and my shadows and it’s filled with sacred objects and stones that help me on my journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance.
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- It helps me face my shadows and bring love to parts of myself that I thought were unloveable.
- It helps me reach into my repression to reveal my true thoughts and feelings.
- It helps me be honest with myself (and compassionate for what I find out about me).
- It helps me accept, respect, honor, and embrace myself and all the choices and mistakes I’ve made along the way to become the Me that I Am today.
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My Mesa taught me that Mistakes Are Awesome!! And that’s because this is Earth School and mistakes mean you realize you made one, and you can course correct by learning from it.
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Because of working with my Mesa, I am now Being the kind of Mother that I always wanted to be for my sons.
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I am Being an example of a heart-open good human for them. I demonstrate how to listen and acknowledge feelings and perspectives in relationship by listening to them and acknowledging what they’re saying and feeling (even if I see something different from my perspective). I demonstrate how to be with difficult situations and conversations with grace rather than stoking the flames of human drama.
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My Mesa has helped me to be an Earth Mama and to heal my family, bringing together my mother and sons and brothers in respectful relationship. It has helped me to hold grace for the members of my family who still want war.
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With my Mesa, I can face anything life brings me and do it with love.
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Today, I faced this truth with my Mesa as I was exploring my 46th gene key from my souls curriculum, the path from Seriousness to Ecstasy with the Gift of Delight. This passage from the Gene Keys sums up picture 1:
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“Frivolity is an over-reaction to seriousness. These people pretend to really enjoy life, and from the outside they appear to take nothing seriously. However, if you scratch the surface of such a person, you will soon find that they are in fact highly emotionally reactive and harbour a huge amount of anger. This anger will explode sooner or later because these people have an investment in being seen as light-hearted, laid back and jovial. When the facade is broken, usually when someone is honest with them, they reveal how deadly serious they actually take life. As a pattern, frivolousness runs away from the truth, and such people usually reflect this in their relationships, which are generally short-lived and numerous.”
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When I read this, it went straight into my heart and I saw myself throughout my life afflicted by seriousness and trying with all my might to over compensate for it with frivolity. I gave up frivolity several years ago and was stuck with flat out seriousness for awhile. Whew! That shit is heavy.
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Luckily, my Mesa and the lineage of Q’ero and Incan ancestors that hold its medicine, have been working with me to lift into the Gift of Delight. True delight in my life that is enriching and doesn’t require distractions to “get by”. True delight that fills me with gratitude for the blessings I Am and experience every single day. I have been feeling more and more Delight with Life every day as I work with my Mesa.
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Would you like a Mesa as your best friend to help you see your truth in all the shadows?
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I invite you to learn about being a Mesa carrier, and to receive a special initiation as an Earth Mama at the upcoming Calling All Earth Mamas sacred virtual gathering on Saturday October 30 from 4-7pm CST. The Q’ero and Incan healers and ancestors will be with us along with your ancestors, guides and the High Council of Elders who are already delighted in the progress you are making in Earth School and want to celebrate YOU … Earth Mama.
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