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Sorry, Not Sorry

Dear Matrix, I am leaving you.

The truth I feel inside of me is now the only thing that matters. I won’t play the game anymore.

I won’t be the good girl and sacrifice myself to make peace.
I won’t say yes when I feel no.
I won’t be any of the roles you assigned to me.
I won’t be disrespected and pretend I wasn’t.

I Am…and I know it.

I realize this will upset your control and order. I can see that anyone under your spell does not have eyes to see nor ears to hear what I am saying.

Still, I say no to the game. I am leaving you.

Sorry, not sorry.

I am not a manipulator nor a temptress nor a crazy bitch nor any of the myriad of names assigned to a woman who chooses to stop being a codependent good girl and start claiming her sovereignty out of the matrix of misogyny that has entranced Western civilization.

I am wise. I am sovereign. I am mother. I am woman.

I don’t need to roar just because you won’t hear me. I can be kind and gentle and clear in myself as I walk away and do my own thing with other people who have opened their hearts and deconstructed what they thought was reality.

I don’t need you to change for me to change my life.

That’s freedom. That’s truth. That’s the end of the patriarchy.

Mother Earth is waking us up, one by one.

There’s gonna be some growing pains.

Sorry. Not sorry.