I used to be one of the biggest escape artists. Things would get difficult or uncomfortable, and I would leave. I ran away (literally ran over a dozen half marathons), I escaped into the wine bottle, I leapt into the arms of lovers then left them and the father of my children. I had a long string of broken relationships.
Then I started my spiritual path and went from one teacher to the next, absorbing their hard-won medicine and leaving to follow the next teacher that I thought would fix my life faster or better. If it didn’t work for me instantly, I assumed the flaw was in the teacher or the teaching.
But eventually I left my own family because they were “toxic”. And that’s after all this spiritual training that was meant to make me into a compassionate healer.
That’s when life put the brakes on me.
What am I really doing? I finally got curious about the leaving and running and constant pushing forward to “evolve” and improve my life. Was it really improving my life to keep leaving everything I once found valuable the moment I was at my own edge?
I decided it wasn’t ok with me anymore to close doors and walk away. I wanted my family back.
So I dove into writing “Love Is Fierce: Healing the Mother Wound.” Supported by George and Tracey, I learned the difficult art of staying. I learned how to hold the one within me who wanted to run away when I was up against my shadows.
What I realized was that all along what I wanted was a quick fix.
Now I know that the depth and capacity forged through the fires of staying are what make me the daughter to my mom, the mother to my sons, the wife to A Akeem, and the mentor to my tribe that I came here to be.
It’s not really the tool or the teacher. It’s whether you can stay through the discomfort and keep showing up for your own inner medicine.
It’s hard to trust an escape artist. People know you’ll leave the moment things get tough.
If you’re here to be a light for others, learn how to stay.
Learn how to stay with Inner Medicine Training, and take the first step which is the Sacred Living with the Four Directions and Power Animals course that begins October 11. Join us for supportive community!