“I’m so glad you are my mom.”
How would you like to hear those words from your grown child?
Hearing my 21 year old son say these words sent a rush of love through my heart. From the very beginning he was my wake up call. Sensitive, perceptive, uncomfortable with life, and with a deep inner strength that kept him from buckling under all the pressure to perform and conform. Something in him refused to be what the world expected of him. I call my eldest my unicorn child. He is always challenging me to be better than the day before–to open my heart with forgiveness, understanding and compassion and to let go of all of my expectations.
One day he tells me he’s glad I am his mom, and that he sees all I’ve done to help him grow into a man.
And then he disappears for months with no communication, with no apparent reason, and I have to dig deep inside to console myself and be a strong mama for the unicorn child.
Can you relate?
My sons are the real reason I began the journey to heal myself. When I started seeing all my shadow patterns in them, and their fathers’ unhealthy inherited patterns, I knew I needed to make radical changes to be sure they grew up secure attached. My mother’s heart became a giant protective bear and mustered the courage to roar.
It’s so much easier to see the problems when our kids are suffering.
As I reached for a bottle of wine night after night to ‘unwind’ from the day, and then reached for a second bottle because the first one wasn’t enough, just to get through family dinner, I started seeing that I was tuning out and missing out.
During the day, self-critical thoughts raced through my mind and at night I woke up grinding my teeth, or worse, frightened from nightmares. Much of the time I was with my sons, my mind was filled with chattering thoughts that kept me from being present with them. From the outside, everything looked happy and normal, a ‘fun family’ with the wine glasses raised in a toast. A ‘soccer mom’ taking her kids to practices and games, and even being the coach.
But I knew different. Their childhoods were slipping away like sand through an hour-glass, and I was missing out on the best time as a mother with my children. I knew it, and I didn’t know how to stop it. The psychotherapy and pills weren’t helping, and I didn’t know what else I could do.
I became so discouraged that I became really depressed. The depression lasted so long I fell prey to adultery just to feel attractive and get the positive attention I craved. The short term infusion quickly ran out leaving me at the bottom of my barrel, drowning in shame and self-judgment. I even considered taking my life. I just couldn’t do anything right.
“What is wrong with me?” I wondered. And really, I didn’t want to know because I just could not be wrong for one more thing.
Despite how bad I felt about myself, I made the choice to live. My heart would not allow me to leave my sons. I felt like I wasn’t much of a mother, but I was the only one they had. Somehow I would find a way to stay.
Having exhausted the tools available to ‘fix’ the situation–psychotherapy, happy pills, marriage counseling, running marathons–there was only one logical conclusion left for me. I had to leave my marriage. As a child of divorce, I never wanted to do that to my kids.
Shortly after the divorce I was given this little book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. So many passages in this book awakened my heart to truth again, and especially this one:
”In your whole life nobody has ever abused you more than you have abused yourself. And the limit of your self-abuse is exactly the limit that you will tolerate from someone else. If someone abuses you a little more than you abuse yourself, you will probably walk away from that person. But if someone abuses you a little less than you abuse yourself, you will probably stay in the relationship and tolerate it endlessly.”
These teachings opened me to see that I was creating an abusive life for myself, and I could stop it. I could turn it around and create a beautiful life for me and my sons.
To help my sons thrive through the ensuing 10 years of toxic marital decoupling where, truly, the song “Love Is A Battlefield” is appropo, I worked my inner magic to transform from feeling like a doormat into knowing my deep mother’s wisdom. I chose curiosity over judgment, self-healing over outer blame, and forgiveness over guilt. I harvested the gold from my many mistakes and spun it into a web of wisdom to share with my children and the world.
I gave up waiting for someone else to respect me.
I claimed my sovereignty and honored myself as a mother.
By walking my path of spiritual mastery, I became the living demonstration of empowerment, love and compassion for my sons. I cultivated the inner resilience to keep my heart open and available through all the twists and turns of my sons’ lives. I developed the mental discipline to see my sons as exactly in the right place, rather than give in to my fears and worries that something was wrong.
I became the mother my sons deserved.
It’s time to BE the mother your children deserve.
It’s never too late to take this journey of becoming. Even if your children are grown with their own kids, you can be the one to stop the cycles of abuse in your family.
You can be the one to teach your children to respect, honor and love themselves. To create lives that are happy and purposeful. To confidently stand up for themselves in a world that doesn’t understand unicorn children. To recognize and celebrate that YOU are their mom, just like my son did.
It all starts with you.
In our community, you’ll tap into ancient wisdom to heal the Mother Wounds for your children, creating deep connections that will continue to support them throughout their lives as weird, wonderful, world-changing adults.
By accessing the sacred within, you’ll gain access to the correct answers for your child to your parenting questions… and learn to trust your mother instincts.
You’ll heal your own victim self, so that your kids can avoid the deep hole of falling victim in their lives, becoming instead the creators of a better world.
This is potent magic. It’s not for everyone. It is for mothers and mamas-in-other-ways who are ready to create the life they desire. In our Sacred Circle, we fearlessly face the shadows, disrupt ancestral patterns, feel it to heal it, and walk a path of self-mastery where we claim 100% responsibility for our own lives. We courageously deconstruct our ideas about life that were formed from cultural and familial programming, and rebirth ourselves into a radically authentic life. We look behind the curtain to see the Wizard of Oz, and relieve him of his duty. As we awaken the Mother Goddess within, sacred beauty pours through our hearts into our families and manifests a fulfilling, meaningful life for seven generations to come.
It starts with you.
Are you ready to discover the inner medicine that will set you free?
Let’s have a Discovery Session.
Testimonials
Kerri is one of the few people I have worked with who was actually able to help me access deep-seated lifelong trauma—what I call sacred wounds—to finally heal and release stuck energy that was holding me back in life, love and business. I highly recommend her to anyone looking for the real deal. Worth every penny!
– Kristina Wolf, Wolf Mastery
The journey of self discovery and soulfully deep healing is actually never ending, but with Kerri as my guide, teacher and healer, I am stronger and braver than ever before. She has shown me my worth, my truth, and has helped me see the humor in my mistakes (lessons) as I continue this life.
– Caitlin Peterson
Kerri’s work around the Mother Wound was truly impactful. I found myself healing aspects of myself that I never realized were the core reasons I’ve been stuck from calling all of me forward. But this healing work felt loving. It felt freeing and truly, I left this experience doing this work feeling free to finally unleash all of me into the world. I couldn’t have done this without the guidance and nudging of Kerri and her pursuance of my heart to fully show up in the world. – M.M.
I felt pregnant;
Pregnant with dreams deferred.
Dreams held under the current of life so long they were all but dead.
I no longer knew their color, their shape, their form.
And yet here I was,
In late middle life,
Still carrying them,
Seeds still, with a will to live.
They started talking to me in the darkness of night
These dreams of mine, these kernels of light.
It was now or never they said,
Their light was fading, soon they would be dead.
So, I went looking for a “doctor of the soul”
And that is when the Hummingbird that is Kerri, flew into my life.
We embarked on a magical journey to Reinvent myself.
A beautiful journey full of lessons, visions, synchronicities, and the magic of spirit.
Always held in the safety of sacred space,
Always held with love and understanding,
Kerri’s vast wisdom and nurturing helped me to
Shine light on my fears, to see them for what they really are,
And invite my dreams out of the darkness.
Letting the unknown be unknown,
Taking each step in time,
Allowing the time for gestation,
Allowing the time for contraction,
Kerri Hummingbird has been the doula of my dreams
– Cynthia Pfeiffer
Working with Kerri, I was able to clear out some negative emotions that were holding me back, and reprogram some hard-wired self-limiting beliefs. I highly recommend Kerri. If you’re experiencing any life challenges, if you’re blocked or stuck in any way, Kerri will unblock and un-stuck you.
– Wendy Nolin
