There are some men who have strong enough roots to weather the storm of rebirth, and can stay steady through the turmoil of awakening. There are some men who will raise another man’s sons when he has reached the limit of his paternal capacity, standing by the mother’s side through the darkest of nights. Imagine the devotion to love: holding space for the healing of familial patterns and wounds that are not even from his ancestry nor from his hand.
There are some men whose hearts have such great love that they can love a son who rejects him and not take it personally. There are some men who know that fatherhood requires being a mountain of love, patience, presence, and emotional strength. There are some men who have the inner fortitude to hold a mother in her wrath until she can temper her own storm, and forgive the man whose limited capacity to love fell short of the needs of the sons.
This man is a sacred partner. He is a walking blessing of healed masculine energy. He is a warrior of love. He is a soul partner. He is a man who knows himself in TRUTH.
He is rare in this world of emotionally-illiterate men whose practice of love is transactional, materialistic, and immature at best.
The sacred masculine is the pathway forward to raising sons who know how to RELATE rather than transact, HONOR and cherish rather than use, and STAY in the conversation rather than leave. He DEMONSTRATES love rather than just talk about it. He is Love In Action.
That’s who A Akeem Sami has been for me and my sons, especially my eldest son who has struggled with addiction and mental illness, and is now homeless seeking his own rock bottom of disdain for his inner and ancestral masculine. You see….when the biological father is incapable of love, the son is the one who pays the price. To be healed he must release the toxic paternity in his DNA and form his own healed father within.
It’s a path only the son can chart for himself.
I’m grateful I have a sacred masculine partner to hold me steady as my son thrashes about on his way to healed masculine.
Yes, I have wrath in my heart to have been left to single-handedly deal with my son’s addictions and self-violence for nearly a decade. I also have the knowing that different souls have different curriculums that match their capacities to love and stay the course through the uncomfortable and sometimes terrifying psychological terrain.
Lightning storms can be frightening, yet a bolt of lightning has the power to light up the world.
Being a space holder for lightning to happen is not for the faint of heart, nor for those with conventional expectations. It’s a reality-smasher and not everyone can hold that kind of intense medicine.
So if you’re in a similar situation, mama… I see you. I feel you. And I send you lotsa love for this chaotic journey of rebirthing the masculine.
